


What You Won't

by simpleapricot



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Humor, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28752582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpleapricot/pseuds/simpleapricot
Summary: Akko spent a whole day as Diana after running across a cursed mirror. Now it's Diana's turn to pretend to be Akko. How hard could it be?Diana has a hard time.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Comments: 24
Kudos: 159





	What You Won't

Diana took another sip of her tea and briefly glanced around the room. It was quiet in the canteen this early. It was usually just Diana, the fairies, and a few other regulars who liked the peace and quiet as much as she did. Even the occasional clanking of dishes from the kitchen only served to emphasize the near silence in the early mornings. She liked to take the time to herself to wake up, get ready for the day, and spend some time together with—

Diana’s thoughts were interrupted by crashing sounds, frantic apologies, and hurried footsteps. The canteen door burst open with a loud bang. Diana didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.

“Good morning Akko. How was your—”

“DianaIneedyourhelprightnowIforgotIneedtoseethedoctor.” The look on her face was frantic, and the words spilled out of her faster than her mouth could keep up. All told, it seemed to be rather ordinary for Akko.

“I am certain that we can come up with a solution, love. But, please, speak a little more clearly.”

“I need to go to the doctor, but I can’t miss class.”

“Students are permitted excused absences for medical appointments, provided that they have informed—”  
“Yeah if you tell Holbrooke first! I forgot to. And I need to get my prescription refilled today, but if I miss History of Magic again, I’m going to fail!”

“How can I help? I’m trying my best but am having trouble thinking of a way to address this.”

“It’s simple.” Akko’s harried expression turned into a bright grin. “You go to class as me!”

“Excuse me?”

“We just use _Metamorphie Faciesse_ to turn you into me, you say you’re sick, and then you go to class as me. It’ll be easy! I had everyone convinced that I was you for a whole day, remember?”

“I remember all too well.” Diana let out an exasperated sigh. This ‘plan’ violated _at least_ six separate sections of the Luna Nova Student Handbook and Conduct Guide. But somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Akko that. Maybe if she, just this once… “I understand. I will go to my room and prepare myself.”

“No, I have to leave _right now_! Come on!” Akko grabbed Diana’s hand, dragged her out of the room, and started going on about her plans for the day, all in one single motion. “Last night Sucy wanted to move to the top bunk…” Diana would have been impressed if she weren’t so surprised. “…and then Lotte’s book fell out the window! So I got my broom…” She attempted to focus on the potentially important information coming out of Akko’s mouth, but she was having great difficulty because _Akko was holding her hand._ Goodness, how was Diana supposed to pay attention to anything when she could feel Akko’s fingers twisting around hers…

“So then Lotte told me that Edgar and Arthur changed places with each other, so I thought that…”

Ah, maybe Diana could think about Akko’s hand for just a little bit longer. Unfortunately, at that very moment, Akko turned at a right angle and dragged them both into a broom closet.

_Good Heavens_.

As if she had no idea what she had just done to Diana’s poor heart, Akko spun right around to face Diana.

“ _Metamorphie Faciesse!”_

Oh no. Something felt wrong in Diana’s vision. The door handle was too close, and the brooms nearly reached to her eyes. The spell must have gone horribly wrong. Diana looked at Akko in shock…and found that she was staring right into a pair of shining red eyes.

Ah. The spell had worked. Akko was just short.

“Dianaaaa you look so cute! As me, I mean. You’re just so serious and, well, it just looks silly!” Diana wasn’t sure how to react, so she didn’t. “Anyway…I’ve gotta go!” Akko tossed Diana her bag as she bolted out of the closet. Just before the door closed, she added a final piece of advice that would come to haunt Diana.

“Don’t forget to roll up your skirt!”

* * *

Diana was exhausted, and she hadn’t even attended Akko’s first class yet. Luna Nova regulations required that all skirts end a maximum of two centimeters above the knee. As Diana knew all too well, Akko believed this rule was made to be broken. In her role as class prefect (and only in that role), Diana had ascertained that Akko’s skirt ended a minimum of twelve centimeters above the knee, or exactly three rolls of her skirt. It should have been easy enough to replicate.

It was not.

The mechanics weren’t difficult, of course. Diana had seen Hannah and Barbara roll up their skirts more times than she could count. But she was not prepared for how emotionally taxing doing so would be. It violated the dress code, everything she had learned about how a lady should comport herself, and basic good sense. Most of all, it made her feel something she did not feel very often: embarrassed. _Heavens_ , what had she gotten herself into?

When Diana-as-Akko slinked out of the broom closet, she felt all too aware of the people passing by, although they seemed to treat her like she was doing nothing out of the ordinary. She felt, for just a moment, that this might not be as bad as she thought. But her hopes were dashed by the sight of a familiar red-and-black-haired pair of witches.

“Akko! Thank goodness. We’ve been looking—”

“For Diana but we can’t find her anywhere. She’s not at her morning tea!”

“There is no need to…” No. Diana needed to ensure that she talked more like Akko. “Don’t worry. Diana is doing fine. She’s a little sick is all. Could you both please inform Professor Finnelan?” That was much better. So why were Hannah and Barbara looking at her like that?

“Akko, are you alright?”

“You didn’t do something weird to Diana again did you?”

“Of course not. I would never even consider doing such a thing.” Where did that response come from? “She left during tea and said her,” how to phrase this, “tummy was hurting.”

The pair raised their eyebrows in unison.

“Alright Akko, see you at lunch.”

“We’ll go tell Finnelan.”

They strode off, leaving Diana a bit confused. Was there something Diana was doing wrong? Surely Diana understood her girlfriend well enough to act like her for a thirty-second conversation? Nevertheless, a glance at the clock reminded Diana that first period was approaching, so she started towards the classroom. However, as she approached the room, she found that there was a very serious problem.

Diana was early. Akko was never early. In fact, for first period, she was always late. A sense of dread settled into Diana’s gut as she realized the terrifying implications.

She would have to be late. Diana Cavendish would need to be late to class. The prospect was nigh unthinkable, and it went against everything that she held dear. There had to be another way. Her nimble mind raced, trying to find some possibility, however remote, that Diana wouldn’t need to show up late to class. To her horror, she found none.

The bell rang. The classroom door closed. Diana was not inside.

She stood just outside of the room, her eyes fixed on the hallway clock. How long would she have to wait? She settled on three minutes. Exactly 180 seconds. Professor Badcock’s muffled voice came through the door.

_“Good morning class. Please turn to page two hundred and eight. We will begin with…”_ Diana strained to hear, trying to ensure that she would not fall behind. It dawned on Diana that, not only would she be late, but she would also disrupt class when she finally entered. A sense of dread began to gnaw at her. What would happen to her? What would Professor Badcock say? Surely she could go in; it must be time now. She took a hopeful look at the clock.

It had been thirty seconds. An eternity remained. The feeling was eating her alive now. How would Professor Badcock respond? Had Diana just gotten Akko into more trouble? She took out her notebook, hoping to distract herself by at least taking down what was happening in class. It helped, a little. Still, she breathed a massive sigh of relief as the clock showed, at last, 180 seconds. She burst into the classroom.

“ _My sincere apologies for being late!”_

Every eye in the room was trained on her. Diana had never been so mortified in her life. But still, her attention was inevitably drawn to the professor standing at the front of the room, who would surely be swift to dole out justice. What horrible fate awaited her? Detention? Suspension? _Expulsion_?

“Just take your seat Miss Kagari.”

O mercy! Diana had never known thee before. But truly, thou art sweetest when found in the depths of despair. Perhaps she would show some leniency in enforcing the dress code to somebody other than Akko to pay forward the great favor she had been shown.

She slid in next to Lotte and Sucy, who were looking at her with a mixture of confusion and, from Sucy, derision. When it seemed that they had nothing to say to her, Diana took out Akko’s notebook. It was full of little doodles surrounding clumps of poorly organized text. There was Chariot and the Shiny Rod. My, these were quite good! Wait, why did that girl have cabbage on her head? Perhaps she should ask about that one later. In any case, now she could finally get to doing what she did best: sitting still and taking notes.

“Akko.” a soft voice whispered into her ear, “why are you writing so much?”

Oh no. Diana had forgotten that she needed to be doing a convincing impression of Akko. But a feeling of wrongness clawed at the back of her mind. She couldn’t just not pay attention in class. She gave a brief “nothing” to Lotte and considered how best to handle the situation. Looking over Akko’s book, she felt a spark of inspiration. If Diana spent some of her time doodling, she could take notes, and nobody would stop her!

Unfortunately, she was unable to muster Akko’s casual creativity, so she settled for crude drawings of the students sitting in front of her. With a bit of care, Diana was able to ensure that she missed none of the information covered in class while also, she hoped, not arousing any further suspicion in her seatmates.

Everything was going swimmingly, so why was Diana still so jittery? She was trying to sit still, but she simply could not. Inevitably, her leg would start bouncing or she would start clicking her pen. There was so much nervous energy that simply _needed_ to be let out. Was this what it was like for Akko all the time? Eventually, Diana compromised and resigned herself to twirling a lock of Akko’s hair as she continued taking notes—and doodling. What had her life come to?

After what felt like an eternity, Professor Badcock slammed the tome on her desk shut and declared class dismissed. Diana nearly leaped out of her seat and bolted out of the lecture room. One class down, just five more to go.

Oh heavens.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face…Lotte? She had an uncommonly determined look on her face.

“Who are you, and what have you done with Akko?”

“I beg your…I mean…excuse me?”

“Everything is wrong!” Lotte threw up her hands. “Akko _always_ falls asleep in History of Magic. She would never take notes like that, and you didn’t yell at Sucy once!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Diana proclaimed with what she hoped was a suitably exaggerated pout, “I simply decided to pay more attention in class today.”

Lotte moved to say something else, but Sucy cut her off. “Alright, she believes you. You don’t need to go yammering on about it.”

Wonderful. At least Diana had managed to convince…why was Sucy grinning?

* * *

The remaining morning classes passed without incident, although the combined effort of keeping up appearances as Akko and paying attention to class had taken a toll on Diana. In an attempt at replicating another of Akko’s mannerisms, she had nearly sprinted to the lunchroom and as such was the first to take a seat at her friends’ customary table. At last, an opportunity to relax and enjoy some idle conversation.

“Oy Akko! Where’s your hot girlfriend?”

“ _Excuse me!_ Would you care to repeat what you just said about Ak—Diana?” She looked around for the source of the disgusting comment. It was—who else?—O’Neill, flanked by a snickering Sucy and blushing Lotte. Diana couldn’t help but notice how _infuriatingly_ tall she was.

“Just asking where Dish is.” Amanda threw her hands up in mock offense. “No need to get your panties in a twist.”

The sheer number of different ways that Diana needed to scold Amanda was so overwhelming that she found herself speechless. In the split-second the delay afforded her, Diana was able to remind herself that she mustn’t say anything that could undermine her cover. Inexperienced as she was with this kind of explicit conversation, she was only able to conceive of one strategy: feigned ignorance.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Really? Not gonna talk about Cav’s ‘cute little butt’ today? Suit yourself.”

Her cute little _what_.

Diana shook off the sense of shock and braced for a parting comment, but she was left wanting as Amanda sauntered over to the table’s newest arrivals: Hannah and Barbara.

“Hey babe.”

Diana looked over to Hannah, expecting to see the contemptuous look that seemed so at home on her face.

Wait.

Why was Hannah smiling? Why was she leaning over? Why was she _kissing Amanda_?

Normally, Diana prided herself on her measured approach to situations. Being able to compartmentalize her experiences was a noted strength of hers. However, at this moment, words failed her. She was left thinking only one thing.

_What._

* * *

Diana’s head was still spinning as she walked into her final class of the day. How could Hannah be dating Amanda? How could Akko talk about Diana so disrespectfully? How could she not know that people call her _Dish?_

Never mind. These were issues that could be addressed in due time. For now, Diana simply needed to clear her last hurdle: a practical seminar in advanced metamorphosis magic. She had helped Akko with her homework for the course, and it seemed quite unlikely that she would have issues with the spells being attempted. Metamorphosis magic had always been one of Diana’s strong suits, in no small part due to her childhood hyperfixation on the witch who taught this seminar: Chariot du Nord.

Diana strode into class—early this time. Akko would never miss a moment with her idol, so Diana decided that it would be reasonable to follow the schedule for once.

“Akko!” came the voice of the witch Diana had spent the better part of the past two years trying to avoid.

“Good afternoon Professor Ursula.” Chariot looked perturbed, but she seemed to elect against responding. Diana certainly was in no hurry to extend the conversation. Still, she wondered as she took her seat: was she really this bad at imitating even Akko’s simplest mannerisms?

“Good morning…I mean…good afternoon, class!” Professor Chariot’s clumsy act was certainly less amusing now than it was when she had begun at Luna Nova, and Diana had never been fond of it. She had to be careful not to scowl.

“A-Anyway, let’s get right to our demonstrations! You were assigned to prepare a set of aquatic animal transformations for today. Let’s see everyone’s favorite please!”

The students stepped up to the front one-by-one, recited the incantation, and turned into a veritable aquarium of beasts of the sea. However, there was a certain characteristic to their transformations that seemed different from what she had done in the past, but Diana couldn’t quite put her finger on it. When her turn came, she stood before Chariot, involuntarily meeting her gaze.

“ _Metamorphie Faciesse!_ ”

Diana had not practiced her orca transformation in quite some time, but from what she could tell everything had still gone quite well, and she allowed herself the slightest bit of pride as she returned to Akko’s form. At least she could do this much for her girlfriend. What would Akko have done at this moment? Only one thing came to mind.

“Y…yatta! Yaaaay?”

It wasn’t as cute when Diana did it.

“That was…not quite right, Akko.”

Diana’s heart sank. What could she have done wrong? Her positioning, incantation, somatic gestures, and visualization had all gone precisely as they were supposed to!

“Of course, it was a great image of a killer whale! But it was lacking entirely in stylization. Could you try extending the dorsal fin or making a fun pattern with the spots next time?”

Oh. Right. Akko had mentioned that Chariot’s metamorphosis class focused on performance, although Diana wasn’t quite sure what that meant until now. While she was certain that she would not be able to replicate Akko’s wonderful, joyous transformations, hopefully she could at least do enough for this class? She looked up at the board and lost even that small bit of confidence. How was she supposed to make turning into a _rock_ fun?

* * *

Diana had never performed so poorly in a class in her life. While Chariot was far too timid to give a direct critique, what had happened was obvious. Her transformations were simply not fun. At all. She brushed off Chariot’s attempt to express concern and trudged back to Akko’s room. Hopefully, she could change back, and this nightmare of a day would come to an end.

The door creaked as it opened, so Lotte and Sucy’s eyes were both on her as she entered. Diana was unable to shake the feeling that she was violating their privacy by coming in, but there weren’t any other other viable options.

“Hi, um, Akko!”

Diana returned Lotte’s greeting, although her attention was focused on the potion set on Sucy’s desk that was very much not permitted by Luna Nova policy. Or, more precisely, she was focused on what was in it. If she remembered correctly—and she was quite sure she did—the potion brewing was in fact the Asp of Cleopatra, a highly lethal poison. This was made far more concerning by the fact that Sucy was holding a vial of it towards Diana with a grin.

“Care for a drink?”

“Absolutely not! What on earth do you think you’re doing? If Akko drank that, she could die! I have half a mind to report you to…” Oh goodness. She had given herself away for sure.

“Sucy! Didn’t I say not to be mean to Diana?” Lotte clapped a hand over her mouth, but the damage had been done.

Diana caught sight of Lotte’s quite unfamiliar expression. It took her a moment to realize that it was something akin to pity. She had known Sucy for long enough to envision the self-assured grin on her face. It appeared that Diana had failed.

“You both are,” Diana paused, not sure if she should admit to her secret outright, “aware that I switched places with Akko?”

“We never said tha—”

“No shit. You couldn’t have been more obvious if you tried,” Sucy snickered, “but it was fun messing with you.”

The situation was only growing more uncomfortable. Diana excused herself as politely as she could under the circumstances and strode into the hall going…she wasn’t particularly sure where. Perhaps if she avoided interacting with anyone else until Akko’s return, she could go without being exposed any further. The canteen would be a good place. It was usually empty at this time of day and Diana could watch through the windows for signs of Akko’s return.

She caught sight of Amanda, strutting through the halls wearing a “too gay to study” shirt that flagrantly violated uniform regulations. Even if it wouldn’t have broken character, Diana was in no mood to make a fuss.

“Hey, Cav. Sorry about earlier. I think I went too far.”

Her _memorable_ experience at lunch now had a simple explanation: O’Neill knew too. And if she had figured out within a matter of seconds, then surely everyone else had seen through the ruse as well. Diana was in no position to handle this conversation right now, and she walked past Amanda without a word.

“Y’know Akko would never talk like that about you, right?”

That made her feel a little better, at least. It seemed that Akko understood her enough to respect her boundaries. Not that Diana could say the same for herself. Did she really know so little about Akko after all this time? Could she really not even do a passable impression of her girlfriend saying “hello?”

As she rounded the final bend, Diana felt a firm tug on her shoulder, and once again found herself in a broom closet face-to-face with…Akko! A wave of relief swept over her. This wretched day would finally come to an end. If only she had been able to do a better job of it.

“Diana! Sorry I’m late, but you wouldn’t believe what happened today. I was going back from the doctor…”

Ah, Diana was so self-absorbed that she couldn’t even listen to her girlfriend properly. How appropriate, as it seemed that she hadn’t been doing so for years.

“…and then he said that his balloon was in the tree…Diana? Are you alright?”

“Perhaps we should get me changed back. I have quite had it with being this short.”

Akko gritted her teeth at Diana’s weak attempt at humor, and she swung her wand through the air. Diana closed her eyes as the tip flashed bright green.

When she opened them again, she found herself in a familiar position. Just a bit taller than her very cute girlfriend. Now they could just leave here, and everything would go back to normal. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the day had revealed some uncomfortable truths about their relationship.

“Diana, what’s wrong?”

Akko’s indignant look was replaced with wide-eyed concern.

“Don’t worry about it love, I—” No, that wasn’t right. They were girlfriends, and that meant Diana needed to be open with Akko, even if it was about her own failures. “Your friends figured out that I was disguised as you quite easily, and I’m worried that means that I don’t know you as well as I think I do.”

“Wait, why did you try to hide from our friends? That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Perhaps I didn’t fully consider—"

“And besides, who cares? Just because you can’t pretend to be someone doesn’t mean you don’t know them well.” Akko looked up at Diana as if she were being silly, but Diana remained unconvinced. Akko looked up, seemingly searching for the right thing to say. “I know! Diana, do you like your dogs?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you think you could pretend to be a dog?”

“Potentially—”

“Of course you couldn’t! So stop worrying.” The analogy was quite silly, but to her surprise Diana found that it did help. That left only one lingering question. She put on her best “Lady Diana Cavendish” airs and stared down at Akko.

“Do you really call me Dish?”

Akko’s face turned pale.

“Well, um…you see…” Akko’s features contorted into a mischievous grin. “Say, Diana, your legs look really cute like that.”

Diana looked down and—to her horror—found that her skirt was still rolled up. As Diana rushed to return it to a proper length, Akko made her escape.

“Thanks for the help, Dish!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Big thanks to TracedInAir for help with writing a more humorous fic like this. I'm still learning, though, so constructive criticism is always appreciated!


End file.
